and so it is; just like you said it would be

"i don't know! i don't know! i'm lost! i'm scared! i feel like i'm disappearing!
my skin is coming off! i'm getting old! nothing makes any sense to me!

nothing makes any sense!"

my heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains

i might drink, and leave the world unseen,
and with thee fade away into the forest dim:
fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
what thou among the leaves hast never known,

where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
where but to think is to be full of sorrow

darkling i listen; and for many a time
i have been half in love with easeful death,

now more than ever seems it rich to die,
to cease upon the midnight with no pain,
while thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad
in such an ecstasy!

she stood in tears amid the alien corn;
the same that oft-times hath

was it vision, or a waking dream?
fled is that music:- do i wake or sleep?


*parts from john keats' ode to a nightingale